Using Massage to Open Up Communication Lines in the Bedroom

Massage is usually a bedroom activity that couples don’t do enough. Unfortunately some couples have differing preferences. For example, one partner might not like to give or receive massages at all while the other extremely enjoys both. What a bummer! Honestly, I think the one who doesn’t like should learn to give a good 15-30 minute massage anyhow. After all, there is great pleasure in the act of simply giving someone something they love. Especially if they love that someone!

Look at it as not only making someone feel good physically, but also helping to relieve stress and anxiety. Massage has been known to help enhance sleep quality at night and energy quality during the day. It improves concentration and clarity. What I love most about partners massaging each other is how it helps each to get to know each other’s bodies better. If communication is low in the bedroom, a massage is a great place to start. The giver should know what where and how much. The easiest way to find out is to ask.

As you begin a massage, ask if they want a full body or concentrated massage. Maybe they just want their back or just their shoulders, neck and arms. Maybe they want their whole body. You don’t want to leave your partner “hoping” you’ll go somewhere. Asking will make sure you do. As you continue to massage ask if they are enjoying themselves. Do they want more pressure or less pressure? If you are aiming to please your partner, you simply have to know what they want and you get that by asking. They’ll appreciate it for you. You, as the giver, have a responsibility to find out. Thankful receivers might not want to ask “too much” or feel as if they are being demanding. So go ahead and make them comfortable and confident in your ability to please.

There are many tools you can use for massage like vibrating gloves or heat enhancers. Sometimes we underestimate the power that lies in our hands. Within our fingers lie the tools that are our finger tips and knuckles. Our hand holds the strength in the base of the palms. If you make a fist, take a look at the flat surface on the top of your hand. It’s perfect for massage! Don’t forget to take off your rings!

I like to recommend a healthy, natural, vitamin-rich oil with a scent your partner likes. And there we have another thing you should know! Popular scents are vanilla, lavendar, citrus or something spicy like musk or patchouli. This is a total preference issue, so it’s important to make sure it’s a scent they love and not despise!

Again, don’t go and analyze their behavior and make guesses to what they like. It’s so much easier to communicate and ask straight questions. When it comes to relationships, this goes with everything. Why wonder? Just ask.

XOXO Pascale Le Bris, Love Love Parties