There are moans of satisfaction and moans of pain. There are porn-star moans, over-the-top- wake-up-the-neighbors moans and perhaps the most famous moan of all — the breathy, fake orgasm moan in “When Harry Met Sally.”
Now there’s a student group at Wesleyan looking to reclaim the moan. Called the Monthly Moaners, their mission is “To take a critical look at how we understand moaning and create a safe, non-voyeuristic space in which to explore our own vocalization.”
OK, get the snickers out of the way now. As described by Emily House, the group’s leader, this is a serious endeavor.
House, a soft-spoken junior from the Albany area who is majoring in anthropology and feminist gender studies, got the idea after participating in the moaning segment of a campus production of Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues.”
“People said ‘You were so brave to do that,'” House recalled during a recent interview at a Middletown coffee shop . “I thought it was fun.”
She held her first “Intro to Moaning” workshop at last winter’s expo on sexual health — the one that also featured sessions on bondage and a 7-foot-tall fabric vulva.According to House, this is about more than sex — though, of course, sex is part of it. “Moaning is inherently sexual,” she said. “But can you divorce moaning from sexuality?”
Yes, says one participant, who put it this way in an anonymous post on wesleying, a student blog: “The moans themselves have been both sexual moans, but also playing around with other types of moaning. My personal favorite was the moaning ‘like you have a secret you really want to tell someone but know you shouldn’t’ moan.”
The workshops typically begin with a discussion about expectations. House said she wants to make sure participants feel comfortable expressing themselves, which is also why she hands out blindfolds.
“It’s a very personal thing,” she explained. “Moaning is so stigmatized. … This is a vulnerable area, and watching other people would take you out of yourself.”
Each workshop includes a frank conversation about the social and political meaning of moaning. For instance, what’s an authentic moan? Is moaning like a porn star for the benefit of a partner OK? What’s the difference between a moan and a primal scream?
And can men moan?
“Men don’t feel that freedom,” House said. “Guys think they’re not supposed to moan.” But she added, several men have attended the workshops and have told her the experience was liberating.
Then it’s on with the blindfolds. Like guided meditation, House urges the group to participate in vocal exercises and visualization techniques to them get into the moment. How does a hum feel? How does a yawn feel? How does delicious sound?
Afterward, there’s a short debriefing, when participants sit in the circle and share their feelings.
Some of the comments, as related by House:
“This is a part of myself that I didn’t know existed.”
“The way I moan is a beautiful thing.”
“My body’s feeling good, and I don’t care who hears me.”
House said she usually notices something in the faces of the participants as they get up to leave. “They have this beautiful glowing sensation,” she said. “They have just moaned out all their stress, and they have a very calm look.”
Contact Daniela Altimari at altimari@courant.com.