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Talking to your partner about trying some new sexual activity can feel risky. You’re both pushing the envelope of your current sexual relationship and at the same time revealing a sexual desire or interest that you may have never raised Read More]]> How to Suggest a new Activity to your Partner
By Cory Silverberg, sexuality.about.com

Talking to your partner about trying some new sexual activity can feel risky. You’re both pushing the envelope of your current sexual relationship and at the same time revealing a sexual desire or interest that you may have never raised before. Experimenting with different ways to have sex is by no means required for a healthy or hot sex life. But having curiosity about other sex acts and desires to try new things is also completely healthy and can lead a relationship to grow in new directions. If you’re not sure how to broach the subject of trying something new with your partner, these tips may help.

Time Required: Take time and don’t bring up trying new sex things at the last minute.

Here’s How:

1. Do Your Homework
   Whatever you want to try, make sure you know how to do it in a way that will be pleasurable and safe for all involved. If you want to try anal sex, for example, do you know the safety tips and techniques to avoid painful anal sex? If you want to use a sex toy, have you done a little retail reconnaissance to scope out a great sex shop or website you can both browse through? You don’t need to make yourself an expert on the subject, and learning together can be a lot of fun. But having an overview or context may increase your own comfort level and make it easier to bring it up with your partner.
2. Establish the Ground Rules
   Every relationship has rules, spoken and unspoken, about what is and isn’t OK to talk about and how to talk to each other. If you’re not allowed to bring up sex or ask for what you want, trying new sexual things will always be a matter of luck or accident. If you want to explore new sexual possibilities with a partner, it’s a lot easier if you both agree that both of you can ask for anything as long as you ask nicely and take no for an answer. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a conversation about ground rules before you even get to talking about sex.
3. Pick Your Time
   Timing can make a huge difference in how a conversation goes about sex. Bringing up the idea of going to a swingers’ club right before your in-laws are coming over for dinner, or talking about watching porn together in the car on the way to work, may or may not be the right time. What’s important is that you pick a time when you have some privacy and are not rushed, so you can both think about what’s being said and how it feels before you respond. It’s generally not a good idea to wait until you’re in bed or having sex before suggesting a significant sexual departure.
4. Make Sure They Know Why
   Sometimes partners are put off or threatened by trying something new because they think it “means” something about your relationship (that you’re bored, that you’re having an affair, that you aren’t interested in them anymore, etc.) Be sure to remind your partner before, during, and after you suggest something new that it’s not just that you want to try this new thing with anyone, you want to try it with them. That the reason you think it will be fun or hot is because it’s something you’ll be doing together.
5. Be Prepared to Risk It
   Suggesting a new addition to your sexual repertoire will probably always feel a bit risky. You’re putting yourself out there, and yes, you may get some rejection and/or judgment from your partner. But one of you has to get the ball rolling, and as they say, nothing ventured nothing gained. Also, taking risks is part of growing and even if it doesn’t work out, you never know where it will lead you or your relationship.
6. Try to Keep the Pressure Off
   Putting pressure on your partner to try something new pretty much never works. You can’t force someone to want to do something, and even if they do it just to please you (or shut you up), the chances they’ll enjoy it are less than if they were doing it for their own interest or fun. The other kind of pressure that doesn’t help is that of high expectations for a specific kind of sex. If you’re building up tantric sex, role play, or dirty talk into something that is going to transform your sexual relationship, you may find the act is diminished.
7. Be Willing to Make the First Move
   If you’re the one suggesting a new kind of sex, don’t expect your partner to make the first move. If you’re the one who tends to initiate sex more often, this can feel like a drag, and maybe the new sexual activity you should suggest is anything that the other person initiates. But the fact remains that partners will have different sexual interests, and even if you’re both ready and willing to dress up like Batman and Robin, if you’re the one who has a fetish for capes and red tights, you’re probably going to have to be the one to get the Batmobile warmed up.

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By Pascale Le Bris of www.loveloveparties.com

These have all really happened to me in my last 6 years of business.

1. When you ask about how amazing my sex life Read More]]> 10 Things Sex Toy Consultants Want You to Know, But Won’t Exactly Say to Your Face

By Pascale Le Bris of www.loveloveparties.com

These have all really happened to me in my last 6 years of business.

1. When you ask about how amazing my sex life must be. I may tell you it’s totally fabulous, but I’m a mom, wife, business woman, housecleaner, cook, part-time chauffeur and bookkeeper. How do you think my sex life is now?

2. When party sales finished at $150 with no bookings and you ask me how it went, I’m lying when I say “It was great!” You say “So how much free stuff did I get?” I say “Nothing. I’m sorry,” then cringe at the gas pump on the way home. A party should be at least $300 for a sex toy consultant to be semi-pleased.

3. Fine, your boyfriend can stay at this “Girls Night In” since you’re insisting. But be aware. That squirming he’s doing in his chair during the demo is not what you think, hun. He’s not turned on. He’s actually REALLY uncomfortable. Send him on his way before the party, trust me.

4. When you come to the party, you should come prepared to shop. Above all, it’s a SHOPPING event. The hostess WANTS good sales to get free stuff. When you tell me that you will order online at home or call me with your order later, we know that there is a 99% chance that you won’t. Order AT the party, like everyone else.

5. If you live more than 2 hours from us, we are telling you that we “enjoy the ride” to be polite. We aren’t exactly going to come out and say “I’m afraid of wasting my time, so you better work for sales and make it worth our while!” So if a consultant is going to drive far, work extra hard for good attendance and outside orders. We REALLY appreciate that.

6. If you’re a hostess and put more emphasis on the food than our presentation and products, you’ll be running to the oven every 10 minutes to check on your wings while missing out on the laughs, games and intriguing sex info. Opt for non-oven finger foods and a big punch bowl where everyone can help themselves to drinks. By the way, wings will get the toys dirty. Nooooooo!

7. Just because it’s a vibrating toy and it’s turned on, doesn’t mean you should shove it down your pants. You’ve just ruined it for the rest of the people at the party who didn’t see it yet. And you’ve embarrassed your hostess big time.

8. When we do a bachelorette or birthday party for you and we only receive 3 small orders out of 20 people, it CAN cause us to leave a party feeling brokenhearted. We aren’t free entertainment. We’re moms and/or self-supporting women out to make some money for a good purpose. This is why you may call a consultant for such a party and she requests a deposit.

9. Bragging that you have this toy and that toy and this toy and that toy will not only tell the rest of the guests about your crazy toy-fueled sex life, but will tell us that you’d make a really good recruit. We WILL ask you if you’d like to join our team!

10. If you ask me if I’ll accept food stamps as payment don’t take offense to my long silence and confused stare. Eventually, it’ll come around to ask you if you’re interested in the business opportunity.

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And don’t forget the fan page! (You can see the option to become a fan Read More]]> Oh gosh, so many great things to come! Be sure to join our mailing list to get in on monthly specials and the latest news. You can find the form to fill out over there to the right.

And don’t forget the fan page! (You can see the option to become a fan over there to the right too!)